Today’s official HI-SEAS IV announcement and the email that followed delineated our official capacities on the upcoming, 12-month mission to sMars. Officially we are:
Health Science Officer & Crew Journalist: Sheyna Gifford
It’s all very serious-sounding and certainly gets the point across. However, it doesn’t quite…let’s just say, COMPLETE the picture. Allow me to color in the details a bit.
For all those of you who have never been on a mission, for all intents and purposes, our callsigns and crew positions are:
Captain Snowball (CS), Lord High Commanderess of Paperwork
Dusty aka “6-pack“, Cowboy Hat Wearing Strongman and Thick-Accented Astrobiologist
Cookies, So goshdarn German you will check your location on a map
Marmot “Can I cuddle it?” Singapore Sailor and Space Architect
Mongo, Master of the Flight Engineering Voodoo and Pawn in Game of Life
And, drum roll please…
By convention, ones does NOT choose ones callsign. These little jems are betokened secondary to some action. Some…typically unconventional action – more often outlandish than brave, though either will do.
I won’t specify how the rest of the crew got their callsigns. One must have a few secrets, after all. Since I didn’t choose mine, I can only guess it had something to do with…hugs and kisses? Organization? Hovering mercilessly over everyone’s bumps and bruises while we trekked across the Grand Tetons in June?
MASSAGES. That must have been it! Every person on that trip wearing a 40 lb. pack got their aching muscles worked out by moi. Which, indeed, was everyone. I even got a massage or two, which was a nice change of pace. You take a few shiatsu classes, man, and you not only have a gift that keeps on giving, you have FRIENDS for LIFE. AND a nickname, apparently. So, let’s try this one on for size…
FINISH YOUR SPACE HOMEWORK!
GO TO YOUR SPACE ROOM!
EAT YOUR DEHYDRATED SPACE FOOD! There are people on Earth who HAVE NO DEHYDRATED SPACE FOOD!
Oh Yeah…this is gonna work out just fine.